Treatment: The Final Phase

This week I started radiation. After completing chemo and surgery, radiation is the last phase in my treatment plan. I go daily (excluding weekends) until January 5th. I was a little depressed when I found that the treatments go beyond the end of the year. I had fantasized that by 12/31/10 I would be through and ready to start rebuilding my life. Fortunately, my sister reminded me that we're Episcopalians and as such celebrate Epiphany, which is January 6th, so my new life will begin with Epiphany.

I don't know yet what to expect from radiation. There are side effects but some people never experience them. The way my life has gone it is likely that I will invent some new side effects never before seen on another human being. Hey, when your mother AND your oncologist tells you that you're weird, you got to expect the unexpected.

Cancer Part 2

Now that I am officially a survivor, it is time to start the second part of the "cancer experience," recovery. There are the physical aspects which means still more treatment (radiation) neuropathy issues, and hair regrowth. Not to mention the ability to stay awake all day.

Then there are the emotional issues which involves running away from a bad mortgage with all my belongings, and returning to a workplace that has become vaguely unfamiliar. For over six months, whether I wanted them to or not, people have labeled and defined me as a cancer victim. How will they identify me now? How will I think of myself?

When you've gone through something as overwhelming as cancer, it's hard to just pop back into life, to take up where you left off. Everything and everybody looks different. But even more significantly, I am not the person I was. The problem is, I haven't yet figured out who I am and where my new place in the cosmos falls. Whoever the woman I turn out to be is, I hope she has a great head of hair.

I'm a Survivor

Last Thursday my oncologist presented me with the pathology report from my surgery and announced that I was now officially a cancer survivor. Yeah! My cancer has been eradicated by months of chemo, surgery and to make sure it is really dead I am still facing 5 weeks of radiation.

My life is now moving to a new phase as I work to regain physical strength, peace of mind, and hair. The biggest disadvantage of getting cured that I see is I will have to start shaving my legs again.

All the issues that I could put aside now have to be dealt with. No more using the cancer card as an excuse for not participating in life. I have remnants of the experience that are still hanging on, some will be with me for months to come, others for a lifetime, but I am now on a different path. I don't know where I am heading but I know this, my eyebrows are safe.