The Straw

Everyone knows of the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. Today was that day. I went over the edge when my boss told me I might have to share an office. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. As some of you know, I just spent 10 years getting a Ph.D. and other than the nifty diploma on my wall and the really cool hat, it hasn't benefited me a great deal.

I never actually expected it to. The only reason I started a Ph.D. was because I needed a diversion from my job. Now that I finished though, I suppose I want some acknowledgment for all my hard work. A 50 cent raise, a new title, my own mail slot, but that's all a dream I know. So I would settle for just keeping my office. It took me a lot of years to get one, and quitting it is not something I would cherish.

When I came home, I tried to print some papers and my aging computer malfunctioned, and I thought of the loss of my office and then I thought of the cancer and the fact that I have to wait an entire week to find out results and the anger and frustration and fear all converged and the emotions I have kept in check seemed to take control. Tomorrow I will return to my normal life and tuck away the emotions that surfaced today, for a while.