My new look

photo © Rhonda Prince 2010
I don't look the same as I used to, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's not just about the hair, but that's a start. My face looks different, of course steroids have made my round face even rounder, and I am finding that I want to dress differently and even have adjusted my makeup. When I look in the mirror I don't see the same person I used to see and I find it gives me the freedom to be a different person which is definitely not a bad thing, most of the time.

I am becoming more outspoken which is a blessing and a curse. I find myself looking at my life and evaluating the importance, but I still find that I can get obsessed over some of the same old things.

Last Saturday night my friends came over for a lesson in meditation. I have toyed with meditation for a number of years but still struggle with focusing. I try to make it a part of my prayer life because as I was taught by a 90-year old nun what's the use of talking to God if you aren't going to take time to listen to him afterwards. So one of my friends is an experienced meditator and she agreed to come and lead us in a guided meditation.

Later as we discussed the experience, my sister told of a method she'd been taught where you visualize your problems as a river that just go floating away from you. I thought about this image for a while and the next day I called her with an exciting addition. You picture your problems as the person most responsible and as they are swept away by the current they smash their heads against a huge rock, repeatedly, before being swept away. My sister didn't think this was the kind of positive thought process that fit with prayer and meditation, but for a day it really seemed to help.

OK, occasionally I deal with anger and depression issues and am not happy every moment of the day, but then who is, cancer or not. In the meantime I remember the kindness of people, my excellent health insurance, and the fact that I have beaten the odds...my eyebrows are still intact.