Daddy's Home

After six weeks of incarceration, uh hospitalization, my father is finally home from the hospital. For the last month it has just been my mom and I, so now there is a new dynamic. While I want to do for myself because he has way more needs than I, it is still difficult for me to do lots of simple things, like change my sheets, take a bath, or decide which flavor of Crystal Light to make today. But that will change. One day I will be strong and well and somehow figure out how I am going to repay all my friends, family, and colleagues for the amazing kindnesses they have shown me during this time.

It is still difficult for me to accept that I am not well. I keep thinking I should just burst from my bed each morning with boundless energy and go about my day. But the pain, the breathing, the bald head all remind me that things are not quite what they should be. So every week I have to learn to be patient all over again. But one day it will be different. This weekend I realized that one day, not sure when, I won't be sick anymore, and I will have to learn how not to think of myself as a sick person. I will take on a new persona then, anyone I want. I will be kind and helpful and hard working and take care of my mom and dad everyday. Oh who am I kidding. I will go to the beach and bury my head in trashy mystery novels for a month, then I will think about all those other things.